Tess is a Canadian. Whoop-dee-do. The great-great granddaughter of a strapping woman who chased the bears off the land of her hunting lodge with a kitchen fork, she has stalked caribou across the tundra, explored for diamonds, and slept in an igloo. If you ask her about granite, she will wax eloquent for hours (don’t ask her about granite). Also, don’t ask her about the seal hunt. She holds some controversial and oft-neglected views. Not-so-fun-fact: Tess has tuberculosis. She intends to conquer it before dominating the Coast Raid. The TB is scheduled to die on June 25, 2008. As the mother hen contingent of Team Salsa Jets, she plans to make Andy wear sunscreen.
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